We’ve got a controversial read for you today but author and political analyst makes some points that really resonate with any woman that is trying to “have it all” (which mostly means “do it all” we’ve found) in her personal, home, love and work life. In Tied Up in Knots, Tantaros reveals how gaining respect in the office, where women deserved it, made us stop demanding it where we were used to it, at home and in the bedroom. In other words, we’ve traded one power for another instead of gaining on all fronts. Not super cool right? She says impact of this power trade has been felt in everything from dating and marriage, to female friendships, to the personal details we share with each other. But the greatest harm has been to damage our capacity for intimacy.
Tantaros is not afraid of controversy (hint if you haven’t heard of her she is a conservative political analyst often seen on Fox News), her book she takes a host of celebrity women (some usually lauded for their feminist bonafides and others that are well controversial) from Betty Friedan to Kris Jenner, Miley Cyrus to Mika Brzezinski, Kim Kardashian to Lena Dunham, for sending the wrong messages to the women of America. In contrast she holds up some of pop culture’s’ most prominent celebrities, like Beyoncé, Sheryl Sandberg and Patti Stanger, as strong and influential role models for the women of today.
If you are thinking a lot about gender equality these days (and we sure know we are) this read just might help you grapple with why so much of it can leave all of us, men & women, feeling dejected and confused. If you are working out what you really want in life (aren’t we all) this could be a read that helps staying true to your authentic self a little clearer. We particularly liked the chapter on beauty because here at Stowaway we believe that feeling beautiful should be easier and we should be comfortable actually liking ourselves and our looks. And that yes we can feel great, wonderful and happy about our looks and our lipstick without needing to “neg” ourselves or each other (anyone else watch that Amy Schumer sketch where everyone implodes trying to compliment each other but can’t accept their own beauty?) Trust us, you look great! Accept the compliment because that blush color does look awesome on you!
While we would argue with Andrea that well we haven’t all gotten what we’ve wanted (here at Stowaway we are still waiting on a few things like equal pay, more female venture backed founders, more female venture capitalists and, well, parity in general in our institutions of power) nor can we say we are miserable (I mean we work with makeup for a living so it’s hard to be miserable surrounded by beauty everyday) but we can sure agree that all of this is exhausting and confusing.